Connection Requires a Different Kind of Intelligence
Why our greatest strength—solving—can sometimes get in the way of seeing the people right in front of us.
We live in a world that rewards our ability to analyze, anticipate, optimize, execute, and solve.
These capacities help us build companies, lead teams, manage complicated lives, and accomplish extraordinary things.
Kate Kripke calls this Strategic Intelligence.
But what happens when we bring an intelligence built for solving problems into moments that aren’t actually problems to solve?
Drawing from more than 20 years of studying human relationships, motherhood, anxiety, and what happens when highly capable people encounter uncertainty, Kate introduces audiences to another essential human capacity: Relational Intelligence.
Relational Intelligence is our capacity to stay engaged with reality as it is—especially when it’s uncertain, uncomfortable, or different from what we expected—so we can see more clearly, stay connected, and choose responses that align with our values and the relationships we’re trying to build.
Through surprising research, compelling stories, humor, and interactive audience experiences, Kate challenges one of our most deeply ingrained assumptions:
The smartest response isn’t always to solve.
Sometimes the solution isn’t wrong. It’s simply too early.
This keynote gives audiences a new way to think about connection, leadership, performance, and the distinctly human capacities that allow us to see what is actually happening before deciding what to do about it.
The Big Idea
The goal isn’t to choose Strategic Intelligence over Relational Intelligence.
It’s to develop fluency: the ability to recognize what kind of moment you’re in and intentionally choose the intelligence that moment requires.
strategic intelligence
We analyze, predict, optimize, plan, execute, solve problems.
relational intelligence
And we learn to notice, regulate, stay present, discern, connect.
Audiences Leave With
ONE. A new understanding of how highly developed problem-solving skills can unintentionally narrow what we see
TWO. A practical distinction between Strategic Intelligence and Relational Intelligence
THREE. A new way to think about uncertainty, discomfort, listening, and connection
FOUR. A framework for improving perception before moving into action
FIVE. One powerful question they can immediately use at work and at home: What kind of intelligence does this moment require?
USA TODAY
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CNN
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THE NEW YORK TIMES
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HUFFPOST
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HEALTH
USA TODAY ✳︎ CNN ✳︎ THE NEW YORK TIMES ✳︎ HUFFPOST ✳︎ HEALTH
FLUENCY“You can be brilliant and still be solving the wrong problem.”
One Keynote. Customized for Your Audience.
The central keynote remains the same, while stories, applications, research, and emphasis can be tailored to the audience and goals of the event.
Leadership & Organizations
Better leadership begins with seeing more clearly.
Explore how Relational Intelligence can improve access to information, decision-making, trust, learning, and performance—and why the strongest leaders know when to solve and when to stay curious long enough to discover what they’re missing.
Women Entrepreneurs & Founders
The skills that help you build something aren’t always the skills that help you lead the humans building it with you.
Designed for founders and entrepreneurs who are exceptionally good at solving, this version explores uncertainty, delegation, feedback, control, and the shift from being the person who fixes everything to becoming the person who can lead others through what cannot immediately be fixed.
Working Mothers & Women’s Leadership
What if motherhood isn’t interrupting a woman’s development—but expanding it?
This version explores why the intelligence that helps women succeed professionally doesn’t always translate seamlessly into the unpredictable world of relationships and motherhood—and how developing Relational Intelligence can change the way women parent, lead, work, and move through the world.
Future of Work & AI
As machines become better at solving, what becomes more valuable in humans?
As AI becomes increasingly capable of analyzing, synthesizing, optimizing, predicting, and solving, this version asks a timely question: What forms of human intelligence become more—not less—important?
Kate explores why our ability to tolerate uncertainty, perceive nuance, stay curious, build trust, repair relationships, and remain connected through discomfort may become increasingly valuable in the future of work.
FLUENCY