Speaker · Psychotherapist · Author
What if it’s not a problem?
Many of the smartest, most capable people spend hours solving problems that aren’t actually problems, at work and at home.
For more than 20 years, Kate Kripke has studied what happens when highly capable people meet uncertainty and discomfort. She helps leaders, teams and mothers tell the difference between problems that need solving and discomfort that isn’t dangerous, so they can put their time, energy and care where it matters most.
Sound familiar?
Most of what we rush to fix isn’t broken. It’s just uncomfortable.
Each of these feels like the responsible thing to do. Each one costs time and energy. And while everyone is busy managing the discomfort, the real problem often goes untouched.
01
A meeting ends with some tension in the room. By afternoon, three people are on Slack trying to smooth it over.
02
A team member pushes back on a plan. By evening, the manager has rewritten it.
03
A reorg is announced. Leadership schedules a fourth town hall to reassure everyone.
04
A leader holds off on a decision until everyone on the team feels good about it. The decision waits for weeks.
The idea
The harder we try to get it right, the more we miss what’s in front of us.
Capable people are rewarded for fixing things. So when life gets uncertain, uncomfortable or unpredictable, we do what has always worked. We plan, research, analyze and try to make it right, usually without noticing that we’ve started treating discomfort as danger and uncertainty as a problem.
Kate helps people recognize what actually needs solving, and build the steadiness to stay with what doesn’t.
Solve the right problem.
Three questions for any hard moment
01 · What if it’s not a problem?
02 · Is it discomfort or danger?
03 · What does the moment actually need?
Where the idea comes from
Twenty years in an unlikely laboratory.
For more than two decades, Kate has supported more than 6,000 high-achieving women at one of the most demanding moments of their lives: new motherhood. They had solved hard problems their whole careers. Now they faced something that couldn’t be planned, predicted or optimized.
They wanted so badly to be good mothers that they focused on getting it right, and missed the child in front of them. The skills that built their lives were getting in the way of what they wanted most: a close, trusting relationship. The women who struggled most were often the ones who had been most successful before.
Motherhood is just where many of us notice it first. A family is a relationship system. So is a marriage, a leadership team and an entire organization, and the same pattern runs through all of them.
LCSW · Founder, Parent and Family Wellness Center, Boulder · Author, Reinventing Supermom · Host, Motherhood Uncut
Work with Kate
Two ways in.
Whether you’re bringing this work to a room full of leaders or looking for support in your own life, start here.
For organizations
Bring the keynote to your team
Solve the Right Problem is a keynote for leaders and teams who are very good at solving problems, and tired of solving the wrong ones.
For mothers
Work with Kate one-on-one
Experiences and private mentorship for capable women navigating motherhood, leadership and the parts of life that can’t be planned.
Featured in
The New York Times · USA Today · CNN Health · HuffPost
The podcast
Motherhood Uncut
Conversations about what it really takes to stay connected when life can’t be controlled.
Notes from Kate
Short, honest letters
On uncertainty, connection and solving the right problem, sent straight to your inbox.