The Three Cs: Curiosity, Compassion, & Choice
It’s no secret, to feel good, we need to be willing to feel uncomfortable first. We simply cannot skip over that first step. Acceptance of our discomfort is the portal to something more comfortable.
May this be yelled from the rooftops on all of our behalf: It is ok (and wise) to feel what you are feeling. Right now.
But this is not where the work ends. Because when we get stuck in the cycle of feeling, and thinking about the feeling, we don’t move forward. We don’t necessarily grow in the ways that we are wanting to. We can, without next steps, recycle our uncomfortable feelings and the thoughts about those feelings over and over again. While feelings of discomfort are important and hold useful information for us, they are not meant to stick around for long.
So, I invite you to consider these three steps in the larger process of personal growth and movement towards joy:
Curiosity: Make space for the feeling. Get curious about that feeling. What does it actually feel like? Where does it live in my body? Does that feeling have a color, shape, temperature, texture, or sound? What thoughts am I having that accompany that feeling? What might that feeling be trying to tell me about me, my needs, and my internal experience in this moment?
Compassion: Please never forget this step. It looks like a deep sigh, a hand on your own heart, a nodding yes of the head. It sounds like “of course I am feeling this way. That makes sense. It is ok for me to have these feelings and I can hold those feelings in love and with grace.”
Choice: This is the final and most important step in moving through. Because now we need to take action with our thoughts and behaviors. We need to, in this step, make a Choice about what to do in service of that feeling of guilt, sadness, anger, or anxiety. In this step, we do something different that moves us in the direction of thinking more helpful thoughts and feeling better. This is where we take the Curiosity and Compassion and use it wisely.
The 3 Cs. Let them guide you from feeling “ick” to feeling “good”.
Because, well, we are all meant to feel good. We are meant to feel connected and spacious and joyful. And our more painful feelings are there to direct the way.